Something ain't right.

Dammit.

Something's not right here. Someone's going to ask me for money or something, right? I'm going to show up the first day, (on time!) get my first assignment, look at it, and not have even the slightest clue on how to do it. Right? Is that it?

It's gotta be something.

It's all just going so smoothly, so perfectly, so exactly how I wanted it to. The other day in the shower, I said to myself, 'This is how it's going to happen,' and guess what? It did. Just like that. Not a bit different.

I don't get jobs that I want and actually look forward to doing. I just don't.

When it rains...

...open your mouth.

Damn, you know how when you start looking for something, you can never find it, but when you're not looking, it's there in spades? Yummsh does.

Here's that filthy bitch Perez Hilton doin' the Yummsh face, too.



Holla!

Gimme a dolla, make you holla.

If I had an actual dollar for every time the buck got passed to me at work, I wouldn't have to work at all anymore. Keep it up, fuckers. It's just gonna make it sweeter when I set all your houses on fire while you sleep.

But I digress.

In lighter news, it's time to introduce a new feature here at Yummsh.com. For those of you who aren't familiar with who Yummsh actually is, this is him right here -



He's become my symbol to think of when I'm feeling pissed off, unhappy, frustrated, or just plain discombobulated. Stub your toe on the credenza? The feeling you're feeling is Yummsh, my friend. Pure, unadulterated Yummsh. Go to the mirror, open your mouth, bug out your eyes, and let the Yummsh flow. That's it. That's it right there.

So, in celebration of all that is Yummsh, let us bug our eyes out and scream for the addition of our new regular feature - Celebrity Yummsh! Allow me to demonstrate.

Elisha Cuthbert can throw a Yummsh, and look downright delectable doing it. Wham!




Evangeline Lilly's Yummsh looks far too happy, but hey - it's Evangeline Lilly. Who cares?



It would be a crime to not share a picture like that with the world, anyway.


However, I might have been avoiding a crime by avoiding this pic, but what the hell -



So send me your Celebrity Yummsh pics, dammit! They don't even really have to be a celebrity, actually - any old Yummsh will do. Stills are the best way to do it, but if you have one as a video file or whateva, send that on, too. I'll do my best...