Harry Potter and the Psychotic Racist Blathering

Took in the new Harry Potter flick this week, and you know what? I liked it! Once I got over the fact that they had cut and consolidated a LOT of the book to just continue the storyline that is being told in the movies, I enjoyed it quite a lot. I figured the whole 'Where's Hagrid?' backstory was going to be cut, but I hadn't counted on some of the other stuff. Neville's encounter in the hospital? The centaur that replaced Madame Trelawney? How Harry and his crew got into the Ministry of Magic at the end, and their trevails in getting to where they needed to go? I have to say - I missed that stuff, and a few other things that were chopped, as well.

It's missing a lot, (at least from a total Pothead's point of view) but it's not a bad film at all. It's really quite enjoyable. All of the acting and visuals were spot on, of course, (the set pieces and special effects looked like they stepped right out of the book) and I LOVED the Voldy vs Dumbleydore brawl. Albus surrounding Voldemort with that big ball of water was SO beautiful.

I got to see the movie in IMAX 3-D last night, and I'd have to say I give it a 9 out of 10. Problems? For one, I found it a bit rushed and a little short. I could've sat there for another 30 minutes quite easily. If Pirates 3 can be 2 hours and 45 minutes, why not this? The book is definitely one of the more intricate and detailed of the series, so I understand the filmmakers' position, but they could've accentuated the adult themes of the book by presenting a slightly more adult film. The ending reminded me of the whole 'It's about love, Harry' speech from Dumbledore at the end of the first flick. Might've been intentional, but still - it felt a bit improvised and slim. I appreciate it for what it is, though. Prisoner of Azkaban is still the reigning champ by a long shot.

Like I said, all the acting was spot on. I loved Oldman, Gambon, Radcliffe... pretty much everybody. My girlfriend Tonks was GORGEOUS, thanks very much. Mmmmm - punk rock witches! Sign me up. Speaking of which, Helena Bonham Carter should just shave her head permanently. Her Bellatrix Lestrange is like Marla Singer had a baby with Stephen King's 'Carrie'. Just so EVIL and WEIRD. Hurray! I also thought that the girl who played Luna Lovegood was brilliant, as well. I read that she got the part after entering an acting contest to find the best girl for the role. They picked well - she nailed it.

So anyway, after it was over, I stepped outside for a smoke, and this black guy comes up to me on my right-hand side. 'Excuse me, do you speak English?' he says. I just kinda look at him. 'Sorry to ask,' he says, 'but I've talked to a hundred people this morning, and every time, I get all these CULTURES coming at me.' Yeah, that must be a bitch. Especially for a black man living in a white man's world. If that's a James Brown lyric, I'll pay the damn fine.

I'm trying to ignore him, but he won't quit. I haven't said much to him in response, so he says, 'You DO speak English, right?' I just look at him again and say, 'Yeah'. I figure the nasty look I'm giving him at this point will shoo him away, but no go. He introduces himself and sticks out his hand, and I shake it for some reason. I'm just not programmed to be rude to people, I guess.

So we shake hands, and right as I pull my hand away, I regret even touching him. All these 'cultures'? Is he crazy? He drops some blatantly racist bullshit on me, and I'm just supposed to take it, shake his hand, and accept him as a normal person? It's weird how that works sometimes in life - people are so immersed in their own twisted little ways that they don't even consider running an ethical spellcheck on themselves before they speak. I can't stand political correctness or self-censorship, but when it comes to shit like racism, I'm running at your ass with a gigantic red pen.

I'm looking for somewhere to wipe off my hand, and he's still running. It's all just blather to me now, and I've actually started to take a few steps away from him so he'll get the hint. I get a few moments of silence, so I look over to see what he's up to. I do so at EXACTLY the right time, because not only does it seem that he's given up, but I also get the money shot of him growing as exasperated with his rude, creepy, bigoted ass as I have.

'DAMMIT!' I hear and see him yell to himself, his arms flailing towards the heavens and his head dipped low, the frustration of blowing yet another conversation with a complete stranger who hopefully won't mind his unsolicited spew of racial epithets written in the air all around him. He walks off and I turn away, not really interested in who his next lucky victim might be. With his luck, I'm betting that it was a cop.